Saturday, 14 July 2007

All Gold Spedding?

After Andrew Johns pulled out following premature retirement, Darren Lockyer was the man identified as the Dally Messenger character for the New Zealand v Northern Union centenary celebration game at Warrington in the autumn. Now Darren Lockyer is ruled out following a cruciate knee ligament injury which has curtailed his season. The NZRL are now scouring the leagues for a suitable replacement. Johnathan Thurston is the early favourite, but there's been a rapid shortening of the odds on Richie Spedding getting the call.
Speaking exclusively to this website, Spedding said "It would of course be an honour to reprise the role played by Dally Messenger. Even to be mentioned in those terms is humbling", but he failed to say whether he would or would not accept the invitation were it to be extended. "The NZRL will have their opinions and I'm sure they'll invite someone of appropriate standing in the game soon", he said, coyly, though Wayne Bennett who will be taking charge of the 'All Golds' is a known fan of the undoubted superstar of the modern generation.
The only problem could be if the new Prime Minister calls an early election for October, as predicted by the Conservatives, where Spedding is rumoured to be lauching a bid for Parliament.

Sunday, 8 July 2007

Spedding Slams Salary Cap Cheats

It's been the worst kept secret in the game but following Thursday's official announcement from the RFL confirming that Bradford, Saints & Wigan had all breached the 2006 salary cap, we finally tracked down the game's foremost oracle to get the definitive view in what the RFL should do next.

"All 3 clubs have offended before", Spedding told me, "and that should prove to the RFL that their penalties in the past have been far too lenient. It's about time we followed the Australian example & made it clear that this rule is not optional & offenders will be very harshly dealt with. Canterbury lost all their points one year while we routinely hand out 2 point penalties or warnings. Can they really be surprised when the clubs overspend given that the rewards routinely outweigh the penalties?"

While Saints took the Super League title at the end of the season in question, most of the talk has centred around Wigan's breach which many had widely predicted from the moment that Stuart Fielden made his world record move from Odsal to the JJB with such gay abandon. The arrival of the prop-forward that loves to take it in hard sparked a Lazarus-like revival for the Riversiders who had seemed destined for trips to Batley & Dewsbury beforehand & most observers think that his big salary is what pushed Wigan over the cap.

"If that's the case then the RFL have to hand out the maximum punishment available, a 12 point deduction. That would leave Wigan in a similar position to where they were when they decided to throw the rule-book out of the window & will serve as a fit & correct punishment. If the punishment is a mere 4 points then what deterrent is there to stop Hull KR, Warrington or Salford from breaking the bank to bring in a few world-class players that might keep them up. Sure they'll effectively start next season on minus 4 but given that there's a very good chance that next season's basement-dwellers won't be relegated with the franchise system coming in for 2009, surely that'd be a risk worth taking."

Spedding had nothing but sympathy for 2006's relegated outfit; "Castleford Tigers have every right to be furious that Wigan have effectively cheated their way out of trouble. Cas are now stuck in NL1 and are faced with a tough battle to get back in the top-flight, sadly no punishment can correct the injustice handed out to the Tigers and that's way the salary cap going live next season is the only way to go. If it had have already been in place as it should have been, the auditors would have been able to block Fielden's transfer & we might have been looking at a very different outcome to the season."

A clearly mischievous Spedding had a crumb of comfort for the Tigers though "Sheffield United have been relegated by a side that cheated their way into staying in the Premiership & they're launching a £50M lawsuit against the FA while Castleford are supposed to be contemplating a similar move against the RFL. Sheffield are being supported by a very altruistic man called Dave Whelan, I'm sure he'll be happy to help out the Tigers". With a cheeky grin lighting up his beautiful face, Spedding had to leave to help flood victims in Doncaster & Hull.

Sunday, 13 May 2007

Spedding on Gansongate

It's been another tough week in the life of Richie Spedding, amongst other things he's been deployed on the streets of France to quell fears of uprisings after the election result, been brokering the smooth transition of power in Northern Ireland and overseeing events in Helsinki to ensure no dodgy voting in the Eurovision song contest but, despite that, we still managed to sit down to discuss the ramifications of last Sunday's events at the Millennium Stadium.

Unfortunately, after re-viewing the footage and being questioned about the Bradford Bulls reaction to it all Spedding was unable to give his views on the matter, because he was too busy laughing uncontrollably.

Tuesday, 24 April 2007

Cooke move sparks Spedding rumours

The protracted battle for the services of Paul Cooke down Hull way appears to be a smokescreen obscuring the bigger picture. Hull FC have struggled in the absence of their playmaker Cooke this season, so it doesn't follow that they'd be willing to let him go. However, insiders believe the deal will go through if FC can come up with a package to secure Richie Spedding as his replacement.
"Quality players are always appreciated at Hull FC and Richie Spedding is nothing if not that" said one club board member, stating the bleeding obvious. "Paul Cooke has been a superb servant to this club, but securing Spedding would enable us to step up and be regulars in the big finals", she continued.
Spedding himself was unavailable for comment as the Bob Woolmer murder case is still occupying much of his time.

Buy the t-shirt at Spedding's boutique:

Saturday, 21 April 2007

Sibling rivalry inspires new Speddingwear range


Announcing a new range of merchandise available in his online boutique, the Richie Spedding outlined his respect for the unheraladed siblings to famous designers. "My brothers were always in my shadow when we were growing up", explained Spedding, "but we always got on. They're doing fine in their careers now and I want to give a leg up to some other brothers of famous designers". Ted Perry, Ken Sherman, Saul Smith and Fred Baker all release exclusive ranges of polo shirts in the Spedding shop today.

Other lines have also been added. The iconic 'I'm Richie Spedding' t-shirt is now available in the colours of all the Super League clubs and one or two others as well, and Spedding is keen to take suggestions for lines or requests for designs.

Thursday, 29 March 2007

'Citizen of the world' speech sets nation against nation in race for Spedding

The announcement that Great Britain will play France in a Test match in June and the subsequent discussion over Justin Murphy's potential availability for France is something that Richie Spedding is very familiar with. A guest speaker at the inauguration of Ban Ki-moon as Secretary General of the UN, Spedding said that he considered himself "a citizen of the world" and very shortly afterwards, his phone was ringing off the hook. "It was crazy", said Spedding in an exclusive interview. "I made the comment about feeling part of a global community, but a lot of people took it literally." Agents and governing bodies from a variety of sports and a whole multitude of countries contacted Spedding with an eye on representing them. "I could be opening for Sri Lanka in the cricket World Cup right now, or playing ice hockey for Sweden."

But for all the furore, there is a serious point. "There's a lot made of people from one country representing another, such as Nathan Fien. I think that whole 'grannygate' saga was just unnecessary. He wanted to represent New Zealand, lives and works in New Zealand, so let him. The same with Murphy. He lives in France, works in France, has really taken to the French way of life. Get him on board. It's switching from one nation to another that's a problem", said Spedding with a cough that sounded like 'Tonie Carroll'.

Wednesday, 21 March 2007

"You'll end up like Leeds Utd", Spedding warns RFU

Richie Spedding had some words of advice for the Rugby Football Union today, as the player drain from League continues.
Chris Ashton will move to Northampton for a reported salary of £140,000 per annum. This is big money for a teenager, let alone one who has hardly played the game in the past, and certainly more than most - all, even - Rugby League clubs would be willing to pay. "I see a similar example from the football world and that is the catastrophe that was and is Leeds United", said Spedding in an exclusive interview. "The example I would refer to specifically is that of Seth Johnson, the then Derby winger signed by David O'Leary". Johnson was then an England U21 representative and making his way in the game. Leeds paid Derby a big fee, over £7m, and shelled out astronomical wages. "This is very similar to the case of Ashton, albeit on a smaller scale to reflect the differences in rugby income cf. football. He wasn't going to get £140,000 a year at Wigan and I doubt he'd have asked for it. Johnson was on £12k a week at Derby. He ended up with over £35k a week at Leeds. The RFU need to be careful. Many more of these raids will leave big holes in their finances. As we saw with Leeds, the gravy train comes to a halt somewhere - in their case, totally derailed and with a large number of casualties. The fans, mainly."
Spedding also cited flaws in Wigan's management of the strict salary cap as a contributory factor in Ashton's departure. "Maurice Lindsay may complain all he wants, but he's responsible for Wigan and has consistently mismanaged the cap, putting too much of it into too few players - mainly ageing and/or big-name overseas stars. This has led to him releasing a huge number of younger players to keep those few happy. It is he who must take responsibility for the drain of players away from Wigan."
There is a positive to the small but steady flow of players to the other game, however. "One thing it does say for our game", said our hero, "is that we're producing good players in good numbers. It's sad that the union game's youth development is so weak that they need to take what they perceive as a ready made player off the shelf from League rather than do their own dirty work. But it will bite them on the bum before too long."